Center for Jewish Living

The world stinks.  We all know that.  The Taliban becomes more powerful day by day not only in Afghanistan but also in Pakistan.  The economy is still in toilet.  It is still considered unacceptable to pick (and of course consume) your boogers on a first date.  And, crime is on the rise at the Center for Jewish Living.  I don’t want everybody to begin worrying, but just 2 days ago Aaron Sarna was shot and nearly killed.  By a gun (albeit, it was Benji with a nerf gun…but still)
How can we keep the CJL safe?  One house manager called for mandatory strip search for every person that entered the CJL.  The CJL monkey of course, agreed.  However I believe there is a better solution.
To quote a recent Reuters headline: “Bra deflects bullet aimed at woman.”  That’s right.  I advocate for mandatory bras, for men, women, and Doron Bloomfield.  These bras would be made out of pure titanium alloy and will be complementary with CJL membership…so sign up to be a member today!

This weeks shout-out goes to JaSamuel Weiss for finally getting a job at Microsoft.  In other news, Microsoft posted losses for the first time ever.  Correlation or causation?  It’s up to you to decide.

CJL Banquet

Join us at the annual CJL Banquet as we celebrate the end of another school year, inaugurate the new CJL board, say goodbye to those who will be graduating, and honor those who have contributed greatly to this community during their time here. The banquet will take place at 6PM on Sunday May 3rd in 104 West!. All are welcome. The banquet is free for members and $35 for non-members (A mealswipe offsets $8 of that and BRBs are accepted. Members who are on a mealplan are also expected to use a mealswipe and it would be appreciated if they donated BRBs in addition).

CJL History Lesson

Many of the CJL’s esteemed alumni will be visiting us this Shabbat and after Shabbat lunch at around 2:15 some of them will be giving a talk on the history of the CJL and Jewish life at Cornell in the CJL Piano Room (or more likely outside somewhere, since the weather is supposed to be very nice). All are welcome.

Yom Haatzmaut

Come celebrate the 61st anniversary of the State of Israel over dinner at 104 West! Tuesday night 5-7PM

Ice Cream Craziness Kiddush

This week’s Kedma Kiddush is ICE CREAM CRAZINESS in Honor of Tzippy Podolski, Doron Bloomfield, and the Vanguard Materials ETF…thats right Tzippy Podolski, Doron Bloomfield and the Vanguard Materials Exchange Traded Fund. Once every semester, to boost Shacharis attendance KEDMA sponsors ICE CREAM CRAZY Kiddush - historically on the hottest shabboses of the year…because that how we roll… So hotties from all minyans, come by ATH Moosewood Lounge after davening to cool down

Hillel Yom Hazikaron Name Reading

Hillel will be running a 24-hour name reading starting at 10AM on Tuesday the 28th and ending at 10AM on Wednesday the 29th on Ho Plaza. If you would like to be a name reader, sign up at http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=cHpGRVhtVDVsWjM2YUpXbTUwZzZ2V1E6MA

Shabbat Times

Friday, April 24:
Kabbalat Shabbat -

Latest Candle Lighting - 7:40 PM
Dinner (check-in) - 7:00 PM (104 West!)

Saturday, April 25:
Shacharit - 9:15 AM (ATH Edwards Room)
Zman Kriat Shema - 9:36 AM
Shiur - 11:35 AM (CJL Piano Room)
Lunch - 12:30 (104 West!)
CJL History Lesson - 2:15 PM (CJL Piano Room)
Shiur - 6:30 PM (CJL Piano Room)
Mincha - 7:25 PM (CJL Shul)
Maariv - 8:38 PM (CJL Shul)
Shabbat Ends - 8:45 PM

Mincha/Maariv Next Week - 6:20 PM (CJL Shul)

You have just finished “celebrating” 8 days of Passover.  Yet, did you really celebrate?  For 5 of the past 8 days you were unable to perform simple tasks, forced to spend copious amounts of time with your fellow Jews, and eat macaroons (which apparently are only considered edible for one week, and one week only.  Seriously, would you ever considering eating one of those during the other 51 weeks of the year?)
But don’t wallow in self-pity!  Rather enjoy the schadenfruende when comparing yourself to the first generation that celebrated Passover. Instead of being faced with a pile of homework and anxiety they were faced 40 years of wandering in a literally God-forsaken barren desert.  And the weather in the Sinai Desert is certainly no better than that of Ithaca. Hell, they needed to get circumcised and those were not sanitary conditions!
So what to make of all this?  We live in the 21st century, dayanu.

This week’s shout out goes to the dining hall staff of 104 West!  They worked incredibly long hours and did a spectacular job so that we could enjoy Passover.  So if you haven’t thanked them already please do so!

Darfur Israel Charity Shabbat

Thank you to all who donated and participated in 104 West’s first charity-themed Shabbat!  Darfur Israel Charity Shabbat was a resounding success with a total of 267 students, triple the average attendance. The dining hall literally overflowed and $5,672 was raised for the African Refugee Development Center.  The success of Darfur Israel Charity Shabbat illustrates the potential of the Jewish community and of Shabbat dinner so keep an eye out for more charity-themed shabbatot next year! For more information please contact Nathan Cohen (ntc9@cornell.edu)

For all those who pledged, you should have received an email with the total amount that your pledge came to. Please write a check made out to Cornell Hillel with Darfur Shabbat on the memo line as soon as possible.  We would like to write the grand-check before the semester ends, so please respond promptly.  Checks can be mailed to: Cornell Hillel G-34 Anabel Taylor Hall, Ithaca NY 14853

Shabbat Dinner at 104 West!

Come be a part of our warm, friendly community at 104 West!, this and every Friday Night!
Reserve now at https://edining.campuslife.cornell.edu/kosher30/ and pay only one meal swipe!

Check-in 7:00PM   Dinner 7:30 PM

After dinner come over to the CJL to have a few L’Chaims, see your old friends, and meet some new ones.

Banquet Honoree Nominations

The CJL Annual End-of-the-Year Banquet will take place on Sunday, May 3rd at 6PM. More information about the banquet itself will follow, but now it is time to choose who will be honored at the banquet for their outstanding service to the CJL. The only qualification for being honored is that the person will be leaving Cornell (not just for breaks or to go to Wegmans) before next year’s banquet. There is no limit to the number of honorees, but in the past their have been between 3 and 5. Send your nominations to Aaron Sarna (ays26) by 5PM on Monday 4/20. The final choices will be made by the non-Senior members of the current CJL board.

Movie and Crafts Night

Come watch “El Dorado” while making your own dream catchers Wednesday night at 7:30PM.

During and after the event a representative from Oranim Long Term Israel Programs will be visiting to meet with anyone interested in participating in one of their programs. Oranim programs offer the opportunity for Jews between the ages of 20-30 the opportunity to volunteer, intern, or earn their Master’s Degree in Israel, sometimes at no cost. For more information about Oranim and their programs visit www.destinationisrael.com.

Shabbat Times

Friday, April 17:
Latest Candle Lighting - 7:32 PM
Meet & Greet - 5:50PM (ATH Foyer)
Kabbalat Shabbat -

Orthodox - 6:10 PM (ATH Edwards Room)
Conservative - 6:00 PM (ATH Chapel)
Reform - 6:00PM (ATH Founders Room)

Dinner (check-in) - 7:00 PM (104 West!)

Saturday, April 19:
Shacharit -

Orthodox - 9:15 AM (ATH Edwards Room)
Conservative - 9:45 AM (ATH Founders Room)

Zman Kriat Shema - 9:42 AM
Shiur  - 11:45 AM (CJL Piano Room)
Lunch - 12:30 PM (104 West!)
Shiur - 6:20 PM (CJL Piano Room)
Mincha - 7:20 PM (CJL Shul)
Maariv - 8:30 PM (CJL Shul)
Shabbat Ends - 8:36 PM

Mincha/Maariv Next Week - 6:15 PM (CJL Shul)

Disclaimer: these announcements are not funny.

As the CJL is in the midst of an intense election campaign, it is only appropriate to commemorate some of history’s historical elections.

U.S. Presidential Election 1816: James Monroe vs. Rufus King.  In this epochal battle between white rich man vs. white rich man, only one white rich man could win.  The campaigns featured vicious ads, like “Monroe da Ho!” and “Rufus the Doofus!”  This would be the last time somebody with the name Rufus would ever run for public office.

U.S. Presidential Election 1908: In this election America showed that it loves a man with some junk in his trunk, and voted the ever-so bootylicious William Taft into office.

Finally, in 1955 the United States decisively voted for boxers.  Senator McCarthy led the charge, claiming that briefs were chafing and restrictive and thus were a product of communism.  In fact, Senator McCarthy further pushed for enforcing “commando” style, to represent the unmitigated freedom and Americaness of America.

This week’s shout-out goes to the AIG executives who took the bonuses, cause if we ain’t gonna give them love, who is?

Darfur Israel Charity Shabbat

Darfur Israel Charity Shabbat is coming up next week. From the pledges so far, for every person who attends the dinner over $21 will be donated to Darfurian refugees in Israel. You can still make a pledge at http://www.cornellcjl.com/charityshabbat.php. At this point the most important thing is to make sure that as many people come as possible, so make sure you come and invite all of your friends. Tell them that one meal-swipe will donate over $21 to a worthwhile charity.

For more information and to receive the full letter detailing the program please contact Nathan Cohen at ntc9@cornell.edu or nathantcohen@gmail.com

Shabbat Dinner at 104 West!

**NOTE THE NEW TIMES**
Come be a part of our warm, friendly community at 104 West!, this and every Friday Night!
Reserve now at https://edining.campuslife.cornell.edu/kosher30/ and pay only one meal swipe!

Check-in 7:00PM   Dinner 7:30 PM

After dinner come over to the CJL to have a few L’Chaims, see your old friends, and meet some new ones.

Jews on Ice

CJL wants to pay for you to go skating and drink hot cocoa! Cause they love you!

Saturday March 28th, 9-11PM @ Lynah Rink

Prizes for the best wipe-out and best costume!

Skate rentals are free for CJL members. Skating is free for everyone

CJL Elections

The CJL elections meeting to elect next year’s board will be SUnday night at 7PM in the CJL piano room. This is your chance to have a say in how the CJL and Jewish life in general at Cornell is run next year. You must be a CJL member in order to vote. Letters of intent from each of the candidates can be viewed at http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dc3rvr9q_1gh2pn42f.

Prefrosh Shabbaton

The CJL Prefrosh Shabbaton is next week. Since acceptances only go out this week we don’t yet have such a good sense of who’s coming, but we most likely will need people to host prefrosh. If you are willing to host (particularly if you are a freshman living on North) please contact Aaron Levy at al489@cornell.edu

Mechirat Chametz

Believe it or not, Pesach is less than 2 weeks away. If you don’t think you will be able to get rid of all your chametz in time you can sell it. In order to do so, fill out the attached form and deliver it in person to Rabbi Leib by Monday April 6th. The sold chametz will no longer be under your ownership starting at 10:25AM (note: this is different than what the previous email said) on Wednesday the 8th and will return to you by 9:45PM on April 16th.

Shabbat Times

Friday, March 27:

As everybody knows it was “preliminary examinations week”, a.k.a. “prelims week”. Naturally during this period of heightened stress and pressure, tension between professors and students reach a near boiling point. Many students feel as though the tests are disproportionately more difficult than the homework. Earlier this week, the Student Assembly placed 1.6 million toothpicks in the Arts-Quad to represent each student who has ever attended Cornell and has disliked prelims. Many students are not only protesting to Cornell President David Skorton, but also United States of America President, Barack Obama. S.A. vice-premier, Phil Dimdop, said “In his quasi-State of the Union Obama promised everything: the cure to cancer, peace in the Middle East, reduction of the deficit, and the elimination of all paper cuts. We feel as though he should also abolish prelims.”
The professors responded with a display of their own; absolutely 0 toothpicks signifying just how little they care. Professor of astrology, Steville Melvin, said “They can protest all they want. I don’t give a
crap. I’ve got tenure biatches!” President Skorton has tried to temper each side’s anger and has called for the issue to be resolved over a game of rock-paper-scissors, best out of 5.

This week’s shoutout goes Yigal Gross for breaking the Cornell record of 10 letters to the editor in the span of 6 weeks.

Darfur Israel Charity Shabbat

The Center for Jewish Living will be leading a fundraiser to help Darfur refugees in Israel. We are asking everybody, be it student, community member, or alumnus to pledge a small amount of money for every student who attends Shabbat dinner on April 3rd. The sum can be as little as a penny per person or as much as you want. The money we receive will go to an organization in Israel that assists Darfur refugees. The CJL will advertise this Shabbat extensively to bring in as many people as possible, thus raising more money, bringing more people into the Kosher Dining Hall, and increasing the broader Cornell community’s awareness of Israel outside the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Please make your pledge at http://www.cornellcjl.com/charityshabbat.php

For more information and to receive the full letter detailing the program please contact Nathan Cohen at ntc9@cornell.edu or nathantcohen@gmail.com

Shabbat Dinner at 104 West!

Come be a part of our warm, friendly community at 104 West!, this and every Friday Night!
Reserve now at https://edining.campuslife.cornell.edu/kosher30/ and pay only one meal swipe!

Check-in 6:15PM Dinner 6:45 PM

After dinner come over to the CJL to have a few L’Chaims, see your old friends, and meet some new ones.

Matanot L’Evyonim

In order to facilitate the fulfillment of the mitzvah of matanot l’evyonim, the CJL Shul will collect money and send it to Od Yosef Chai, an organization that distrubutes tzedakah to poor people in Israel. In order to ensure that we actually fulfill the mitzvah of matanot l’evyonim on Purim itself, please give your donation (cash or check to Od Yosef Chai) to Jacob Meisler no later than Friday, February 27th (today).

Jewish Genetic Testing

The Jewish Genetic Disease Consortium (JGDC) is arranging an awareness and screening event at Cornell on March 11th (the Wednesday before Spring Break) to help test as many people possible! Come to the Art Gallery in Willard Straight between the hours of 10am and 4pm. to get tested. Please pre-register on line at www.jewishgenetictest.org/cornell and have your insurance information ready. If you do not have insurance or are not covered then there is a reduced rate for the screening. Your results are completely confidential!

All students and faculty are welcome!

If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact nab43 or jsj28.

Hebrew Hangout

If you’re reading this e-mail you’re probably Jewish. If you’re Jewish you probably at least have some interest in the Hebrew language. If you have any interest in Hebrew come to the Hebrew Hangout! Come to the Kosher Dining Hall on Tuesday’s at 6:00pm to converse, critique, and mock in the Hebrew language!

Prefrosh Shabbaton

The CJL will be hosting a Shabbaton for prospective students (both juniors and seniors) the weekend of April 3rd-5th. If you know of any high schoolers who might be interested in coming to learn more about Jewish life at Cornell, please get them in touch with Aaron Levy (al489). Also if you know of anyone who will be driving into Ithaca for that weekend and will have room to transport some local prefrosh, please let Aaron know.

Mitzvah Day 2009

The annual Mitzvah Day/Repair the World is coming up on Sunday April 19th. For those of you who don’t know, Mitzvah Day is Hillel’s day of community service, similar to Into the Streets. There is a lot of planning to do and a lot of available jobs- big and small depending on how much time you would like to commit. If you are interested in joining the committee or simply forming a team please email Rachel Herold (rah65@cornell.edu). We will be meeting THIS WEEKEND to start planning! Thank you!

Shiurim

Allison Fischler and Emily Issacs will be hosting a 2 week miniseries on Sexuality in Rabbinic Literature with Rabbi Jason Leib!
YUMMY SOUP AND BREAD provided by the Leibs will be served. 2/24 and 3/3 at 8:30PM in the Cascadilla 2nd Floor Lounge

Story Time with the Leibs - Pizza and learning every other Sunday night (next one 2/29) at 8:30 pm at the Leibs home, 210 Lake St. Apt. 2B
Pizza with the Rabbi - every Tuesday 11:30AM on the Arts Quad
Mishmar (Hang with the Rabbi) - every Thursday 10pm- North Campus, Jewish cuisine provided
Torah on Tap - Free beer and learning - every Thursday 6PM in The Chapter House

Shul Times

Friday, February 27:
Candle Lighting - 5:35 PM
Kabbalat Shabbat

Reform - 5:15 PM (ATH Founders Room)
Orthodox - 5:35 PM (ATH Edwards Room)
Conservative - 6:00 PM (WSH Art Gallery)

Dinner (check-in) - 6:15 PM (104 West!)

Saturday, February 28:
Shacharit - 9:15 AM (ATH Edwards Room)
Zman Kriat Shema - 9:30 AM
Shiur - 11:45 AM (CJL Piano Room)
Lunch - 12:30 PM (104 West!)
Shiur - 4:20 PM (CJL Piano Room)
Mincha - 5:20 PM (CJL Shul)
Maariv - 6:30 PM (CJL Shul)
Shabbat Ends - 6:37 PM

Mincha/Maariv Next Week - 5:45 PM

Cream Cheese in the Bagel Hole

Dear Dr. Loovenmacher,
My girlfriend at Cornell, a native townie,  is a bit on the earthy crunchy side if you know what I mean.  Anyways, the relationship was great until she stopped shaving and she’s been asking me these weird questions.  Like just yesterday she asked whether I have heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon or whether I’ve asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned.  She’s also been hyper critical recently.  I’m a fine arts major and she keeps on blaming me with not painting with all the colors of the wind.  What should I do?
–John S.

Dear John S.,
I can unequivocally say that you should dump her ASAP.  It seems as though she has an acute case of Felangelinitis, commonly known as Ithacitis, or better recognized as “Shit-I’m-in-Ithaca” disease.  It is especially prevalent among natives to Ithaca simply because of the duration they’ve spent in the city.  There are three causes for this tragic and debilitating disease:
1.  Complete Isolation from the outside world
2.  Overdose of hemp and hemp products that are abundant in Ithaca
3.  Peanut Chews.
The total isolation of Ithaca and delicious lure of Peanut Chews drive a person to the brink of insanity, or if you excuse the pun, over the gorge of insanity and into the currents of craziness.  The hemp makes the insanity harmless yet annoying; this explains why you’re crazy girlfriend is simply asking you to talk to animals as opposed to killing you in your sleep.
I hope this helps,
Dr. Loovenmacher
P.S.  Not shaving ones legs can be a good thing.

This week’s shout out goes to Jacob Meisler for almost developing a sense of humor.

104 West! Side Story Shabbat Dinner

Melaveh Malka

The CJL will be a melaveh malkah full of singing, live music, eating, and chassidic stories in the CJL Piano Room Saturday night at 7:30PM.

Eskimo BBQ

Join us at 10:30 Saturday night in the CJL courtyard for one of the CJL’s world famous Eskimo BBQs where you have to try to finish your burger or hotdog before getting frostbite. All are welcome.

Beer Tasting

The biweekly CJL beer tasting class will continue this Wednesday at 8PM in the CJL Library. Please note that it is illegal to drink alcohol if you are under 21.

Matanot L’Evyonim

In order to facilitate the fulfillment of the mitzvah of matanot l’evyonim, the CJL Shul will collect money and send it to Od Yosef Chai, an organization that distrubutes tzedakah to poor people in Israel.  In order to ensure that we actually fulfill the mitzvah of matanot l’evyonim on Purim itself, please give your donation (cash or check to Od Yosef Chai) to Jacob Meisler no later than Friday, February 27th.

Shiurim

“The Israeli Elections: What Exactly Went On Over There” - Chana Leib, Shabbat 11:45 AM (CJL Piano Room)
“What the hell?” - Rabbi Leib - Shabbat 4:00 PM (CJL Piano Room)

We will be continuing our 2 week mini-series on various hot topics related to Judaism. The second mini-series will be held on February 10th and 17th, and is hosted by Amy Pearlman. The topic will be “Hell from a Different Perspective.”  Questions or suggestions?  Please call Chana at 847-347-7082.
“Hell from a Different Perspective”: Tuesday, February 10th and 17th, 8:30 pm, 202 College Ave Apt. 3 (3rd floor)

Story Time with the Leibs - Pizza and learning every other Sunday night (next one 2/22) at 8:30 pm at the Leibs home, 210 Lake St. Apt. 2B
Rabbi Leib’s weekly Talmud shiur -  every Monday 10pm at the CJL
Mishmar (Hang with the Rabbi) - every Thursday 10pm- North Campus, Jewish cuisine provided
Torah on Tap - Free beer and learning - every Thursday 6PM in The Chapter House

Shul Times

Friday, February 13:
Candle Lighting - 5:17 PM
Kabbalat Shabbat

Orthodox - 5:17 PM (ATH Edwards Room)
Conservative - 5:15 PM (ATH Chapel)
Reform - 5:15 PM (ATH Founders Room)

Dinner (check-in) - 6:15 PM (104 West!)

Saturday, February 14:
Shacharit - 9:15 AM (ATH Edwards Room)
Zman Kriat Shema - 9:42 AM
Shiur - Chana Leib: “The Israeli Elections: What Exactly Went On Over There” - 11:45 AM (CJL Piano Room)
Lunch - 12:30 PM (104 West!)
Shiur - Rabbi Leib: “What the hell?” - 4:00 PM (CJL Piano Room)
Mincha - 5:05 PM (CJL Shul)
Maariv - 6:13 PM (CJL Shul)
Shabbat Ends - 6:22 PM

Mincha/Maariv Next Week - 5:25 PM

Israel Advocacy on Campus

To The Cornell Jewish and Pro-Israel communities,

As most of you are surely aware, over the past couple weeks, the situation in Gaza has turned into a hot-button topic on campus. Numerous columns and letters to the editor have appeared in the Sun and, just this week, the Islamic Alliance for Justice constructed an exhibit on the Arts Quad of 1,300 black flags in memory of the Palestinian and Israeli deaths in Gaza. This display was accompanied by signs that placed most of the blame and wrong on Israel.

We believe that this demonstration is inappropriate for multiple reasons. The signs contain misleading statements that are easily taken out of context, and in some cases, are simply untrue. This type of irresponsible discourse is not productive, and so CIPAC and Hillel are currently working on a deliberate, appropriate, inclusive, and respectful – but, at the same time, strong and highly visible – response.

We write to you in the hopes that you will share your opinions and thoughts with us in the coming days as we put together a response. We want to be as inclusive as possible and want all those who support Israel and desire peace in the region to feel as if they are being represented. We want to rise above the polarization inherent in the recent Arts Quad display by showing that all Israel has ever wanted is to live in peace with her neighbors.

We know that emotions in the pro-Israel community are running high, but, even with that being the case, we strongly condemn all those who have engaged in damaging the IAJ exhibit. We all have a right to freedom of expression that should not be taken lightly, and it is inappropriate and wrong to destroy the exhibit. Also, besides being wrong, the destruction does nothing but give Israel supporters everywhere a bad name. Instead, we hope that you will channel your feelings into productive action by sharing your thoughts with us and by participating in the impending response.

We know that the response of the Jewish and pro-Israel communities is certainly time-sensitive, but we will not act overly quickly or rashly to the detriment of a meaningful, well-conceived response. Knowing the strength of the Jewish and pro-Israel communities at Cornell, with all of your support, our united response will be overwhelming.

We would like every concerned member of the community to email us (as many already have) with anything from thoughts, to specific ideas or courses of action, to simply an email notifying us that you would like to help in any way you can. We promise that every email and idea will be carefully read and considered as the response is formulated and every one of you who wishes to be, will be aware of the response in the coming days so that you can help in any way you choose.

Please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us — we are here to represent you and make sure your voices are heard. Our emails are saa38@cornell.edu and jls294@cornell.edu.

Thank you for your time in handling this very delicate and important issue.

Sincerely,

Jacob Shapiro – President, Hillel

Shai Akabas – President, CIPAC

“Cream Cheese in the Bagel Hole: Relationship Advice for Desperate Jews.”

Dear Dr. Loovenmacher,
I asked a girl out and she said yes so I took her on a date: we walked through the gorges. Then we went on another date: we walked to the plantations. For our last date, we walked down to The Commons. What other date locations exist near/at Cornell?
–Very Tired in Sheldon

Dear Very Tired in Sheldon,
Sorry. You’ve exhausted all possibilites.
–Dr. Loovenmacher

Dear Dr. Loovenmacher,
Where can I meet fellow single people?
–Single in Beta

Dear Single in Beta,
Need not despair! Cornell is full of people just like you. Single. Lonely. Despondent. Frostbitten. Now when you meet this not so special person, you might think to yourself “Wow. I share nothing in common in person. I am not physically attracted to him/her. Nor is his/her personality particularly appealing.” In fact, every single facet of him/her might actually repel you, however you do not have any options, and as the adage goes “Desperation makes strange bedfellows.” (No. Not in that way.)
–Dr. Loovenmacher

This week’s shout-out goes to the CJL annex for being inhabitable once more!

Shabbat Dinner at 104 West!

****************************************NEXT WEEK 104 WEST SIDE STORY SHABBAT***********************************************************

Come be a part of our warm, friendly community at 104 West!, this and every Friday Night!
Reserve now at https://edining.campuslife.cornell.edu/kosher30/ and pay only one meal swipe!

Check-in 6:15PM Dinner 6:45 PM

After dinner come over to the CJL to have a few L’Chaims, see your old friends, and meet some new ones.

Crafts and a Movie Nights-Wednesdays @ 7:00pm

Starting this Wednesday the CJL will be running Crafts and a Movie Night every other Wednesday night at 7:30pm. This week, in preparation for next Shabbos, well be showing West Side Story and finger painting.

Matanot L’Evyonim

In order to facilitate the fulfillment of the mitzvah of matanot l’evyonim, the orthodox minyan will collect money and send it to Od Yosef Chai, an organization that distributes tzedakah to poor people in Israel. In order to ensure that we actually fulfill the mitzvah of matanot l’evyonim on Purim itself, please give your donation (cash or check to Od Yosef Chai) to Jacob Miesler no later than Friday, February 27th.

Shabbat Times

Friday, February 6:
Candle Lighting - 5:08 PM
Kabbalat Shabbat -

Orthodox - 5:08 PM (ATH Edwards Room)
Conservative - 5:15 PM (ATH Chapel)
Reform - 5:15 PM (ATH Founders Room)

Dinner (check-in) - 6:15 PM (104 West!)

Saturday, February 7:
Shacharit - 9:15 AM (ATH Edwards Room)
Shiur - Rabbi Leib:
“The Myth of Nachshon vs. Moshe Rabeinu” - 11:45 AM (CJL Piano Room)
Lunch - 12:30 PM (104 West!)
Shiur - Chana Leib:
“Setting the Stage for Drama - Chapter 1 of Megilat Ester” - 4:00 PM (CJL Piano Room)
Mincha - 4:55 PM (CJL Shul)
Maariv - 6:05 PM (CJL Shul)
Shabbat Ends - 6:12 PM

Mincha/Maariv Next Week - 5:15 PM (CJL Shul)

This is the first official installment of “Cream Cheese in the Bagel Hole: Relationship Advice for Desperate Jews.”

Dear Dr. Loovenmacher,

I kissed a girl and I liked it.  But recently my girlfriend has been hot but then all of a sudden, she’s cold!  She’s yes then she’s no.  She’s in then she’s out.  She’s up then she’s down.  She’s wrong when it’s right, she’s black and she’s white.  We fight, we break up.  We kiss, we make up.  What do I do?

Perry

Dear Perry,

I have not kissed a girl, or for that matter any animate object, but I imagine I would like it too.  If your girl has been hot and then cold she’s probably going through menopause.  If you are uncomfortable with this, then perhaps don’t go after cougars.  Go after someone younger, though preferably legal.  If first she says yes and then she says no then she is probably schizophrenic and I can’t advise you on that.  Honestly I do not understand what you mean when you say that she is up and then she is down.  Are you talking emotionally?  Is she climbing a tree or something?  If you’re going to write me a letter at least make it clear what you are talking about! As to whether she’s black or  white, I’m contractually not allowed to deal with race issues. Your relationship is strawberry cream cheese.  Yes, it is intriguing, exotic, and perhaps enjoyable on a few occasions but ultimately too risky. Dump it and go for the more conventional chives type.

This weeks shout-out goes to Aaron Sarna for rocking an awesome hairdo for the composite picture. (Editor’s note: Nathan (ahem, Dr. Loovenmacher) - stop making it look like I give myself shoutouts)

Shabbat Dinner at 104 West!

Come be a part of our warm, friendly community at 104 West!, this and every Friday Night!
Reserve now at https://edining.campuslife.cornell.edu/kosher30/ and pay only one meal swipe!

Check-in 6:15PM   Dinner 6:45 PM

After dinner come over to the CJL to have a few L’Chaims, see your old friends, and meet some new ones.

Superbowl Party

Blue 42, Blue 42 hut hut hike. Yeah that’s right. Its that time of year again. Men knocking each other around to get a leather ball into an end zone. What could be better? So whether you’re rooting for Warner’s Cardinals, are a loyal Steelers fan, or just watch for the commercials and half time show come scarf down some food, pull up a seat, huddle around a big screen TV, and be ready to scream when Roethlisberger throws an interception.

Sunday 2/1 in 104 West!
Pregame starts @ 5pm Kickoff @ 6
TV: 52″ inch big screen TV
Food: Chicken Wings, Onion Rings, Chili, Subs, Chips and Salsa, and dip.
Drinks: Of course
Cost: 1 meal swipe if you eat, free if you don’t

Movie/Crafts/Beer Tasting Nights

Starting this week, every other Monday night will be a movie night and every Wednesday night will be either a crafts night or a beer tasting night. Each movie will be of a different genre, every beer will have a different flavor and every craft will make the engineers feel inferior in a different way. The first beer tasting will be this Monday at 7:00PM. Wednesday at 7:30PM will be the first movie night and we will be showing West Side Story. The complete schedule can be viewed at www.cornellcjl.com/events.

Shabbat Times

Friday, January 30:
Candle Lighting - 4:59 PM
Kabbalat Shabbat -
    Orthodox - 4:59 PM (ATH Edwards Room)
    Conservative - 5:15 PM (ATH Chapel)
    Reform - 5:15 PM (ATH Founders Room)
Shiur - 5:45 PM (CJL Piano Room)
Dinner (Check-in) - 6:15 PM (104 West!)

Saturday, January 31:
Shacharit - 9:15 AM (ATH Edwards Room)
Shiur - 11:45 AM (CJL Piano Room)
Lunch - 12:30 PM (104 West!)
Mincha - 4:45 PM (CJL Shul)
Maariv - 5:56 PM (CJL Shul)
Shabbat Ends - 6:03 PM

Mincha/Maariv next week: 5:05 PM (CJL Shul)

To all my new readers, allow me to introduce myself.  My name is Dr. Loovenmacher.  I received my PhD in pschology from an accredited university in Canada named—well you probably wouldn’t respect it, so I’ll spare you the details.  The point is that the Cornell Jewish community was recently ranked as the second-most love frustrated community closely after Brandies.  Therefore the board has asked me to help you all with my insightful insights (note to editor: find synonym. Use book that’s like a dictionary but not a dictionary) into the human heart and grant you all free relationship advice.

I have named my column “Cream Cheese in the Bagel Hole: Relationship Advice for Desperate Jews.” Now supposedly some have detected a certain sexual innuendo with this title.  I would like to say foremost that I am not a sex columnist, and therefore I certainly did not intend for any lewd double entendres.

The reason for the title is as follows.  Nobody intends to have his or her cream cheese in the bagel hole.  It simply happens, sometimes completely by accident.  Just like love. No one tries to find love, but when it happens it can be a magical thing, just like that perfect amount of cream cheese in the bagel hole.  Or sometimes love/cream cheese can simply be too much.  It can be smothering, sickening, and go sour after a while.

So allow me to help you, or as much as any Canadian can (truthfully, that’s not much).

Sincerely,

Dr. Loovenmacher PhD

This weeks shout-out goes to Lazar Polevoy for renovating the CJL shul into a brand new pool!

Shabbat Dinner at 104 West!

Come be a part of our warm, friendly community at 104 West!, this and every Friday Night!
Reserve now at https://edining.campuslife.cornell.edu/kosher30/ and pay only one meal swipe!

Check-in 6:15PM   Dinner 6:45 PM

After dinner come over to the CJL to have a few L’Chaims, see your old friends, and meet some new ones.

IMPORTANT: Please do not go into the room behind the washing sinks in 104 West!. Construction is being done on that part of the building and it is not safe to be in there.

Rabbi Shrader visiting Cornell

Rabbi Menachem Shrader, founding director of JLIC, will be visiting Cornell!
Rav Schrader is currently a teacher in Nishmat, an advanced program for women’s Torah study in Israel. He is also the Rav of the Tiferet Avot shul in Efrat and co-founder and posek of JLIC.
Rabbi Schrader will be giving a Shiur on Sunday, January 25th  at 5:30 on the topic of “How can one attach himself to God?” @ 104 West!
Students and community members are welcome!
Rabbi Schrader is available to meet students who might be interested in the learning programs in Nishmat (check them out here).
To coordinate a meeting, please call Chana Leib at 847-347-7081.

CJL Composites

The photography session for this year’s CJL composite will be this coming Thursday 1/29 from 4:00-5:30 PM in the CJL Piano Room. If you would like to be in the composite, you must pay membership for this semester by Thursday. Please sign up for a time slot on the signup sheet next to the stairs in the CJL. For more information please see the email sent out earlier this week or contact Aaron Sarna (ays26).

Superbowl Party

Blue 42, Blue 42 hut hut hike. Yeah that’s right. Its that time of year again. Men knocking each other around to get a leather ball into an end zone. What could be better? So whether you’re rooting for Warner’s Cardinals, are a loyal Steelers fan, or just watch for the commercials and half time show come scarf down some food, pull up a seat, huddle around a big screen TV, and be ready to scream when Roethlisberger throws an interception.

Sunday 2/1 in 104 West!
Pregame starts @ 5pm Kickoff @ 6
TV: 52″ inch big screen TV
Food: Chicken Wings, Onion Rings, Chili, Subs, Chips and Salsa, and dip.
Drinks: Of course
Cost: 1 meal swipe if you eat, free if you don’t

New Website

Over break some new features were added to the CJL website (www.cornellcjl.com). Now, after you’ve accidentally deleted the CJL announcements, you can still see them on the website and know exactly where you need to be when in order to live a happy life. Also, davening times are on the site for the entire semester!. There is a photo album that we are just starting to populate, so if you have photos from CJL events that you want to put up, please send them to webmaster@cornellcjl.com. We’ve also started putting up old CJL composites in the photo album so that you alumni who still read these announcements in order to live vicariously through us can see how silly you looked as college students. We have all of the composites since 1987 (although not all of them are online yet) but only a few earlier ones, so if you have a copy of your composite from before 1987, please be in touch and we’ll figure out how to get it on the site.

Shabbat Times

Friday, January 23:
Candle Lighting - 4:50 PM
Kabbalat Shabbat -
Orthodox - 4:50 PM (ATH Edwards Room)
Conservative - 5:15 PM (ATH Chapel)
Reform - 5:15 PM (ATH Founders Room)
Shiur - Rabbi Leib:
“The Source of Belief: Natural Order or the Miraculous” - 5:45 PM (CJL Piano Room)
Dinner (Check-in) - 6:15 PM (104 West!)

Saturday, January 24:
Shacharit - 9:15 AM (ATH Edwards Room)
Zman Kriat Shema - 9:52 AM
Shiur - Chana Leib:
“Exodus: Cherchez la femme” - 11:45 AM (CJL Piano Room)
Lunch - 12:30 PM (104 West!)
Mincha - 4:35 PM (104 West!)
Maariv - 5:48 PM (104 West!)
Shabbat Ends - 5:55 PM

Mincha/Maariv next week: 5:00 PM (CJL Piano Room)

Starting this semester this space will contain the weekly CJL announcements. They will still be sent out on the CJL-l listserv, which you can sign up for on our homepage.