Center for Jewish Living

Cream Cheese in the Bagel Hole

Dear Dr. Loovenmacher,
My girlfriend at Cornell, a native townie,  is a bit on the earthy crunchy side if you know what I mean.  Anyways, the relationship was great until she stopped shaving and she’s been asking me these weird questions.  Like just yesterday she asked whether I have heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon or whether I’ve asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned.  She’s also been hyper critical recently.  I’m a fine arts major and she keeps on blaming me with not painting with all the colors of the wind.  What should I do?
–John S.

Dear John S.,
I can unequivocally say that you should dump her ASAP.  It seems as though she has an acute case of Felangelinitis, commonly known as Ithacitis, or better recognized as “Shit-I’m-in-Ithaca” disease.  It is especially prevalent among natives to Ithaca simply because of the duration they’ve spent in the city.  There are three causes for this tragic and debilitating disease:
1.  Complete Isolation from the outside world
2.  Overdose of hemp and hemp products that are abundant in Ithaca
3.  Peanut Chews.
The total isolation of Ithaca and delicious lure of Peanut Chews drive a person to the brink of insanity, or if you excuse the pun, over the gorge of insanity and into the currents of craziness.  The hemp makes the insanity harmless yet annoying; this explains why you’re crazy girlfriend is simply asking you to talk to animals as opposed to killing you in your sleep.
I hope this helps,
Dr. Loovenmacher
P.S.  Not shaving ones legs can be a good thing.

This week’s shout out goes to Jacob Meisler for almost developing a sense of humor.

104 West! Side Story Shabbat Dinner

Melaveh Malka

The CJL will be a melaveh malkah full of singing, live music, eating, and chassidic stories in the CJL Piano Room Saturday night at 7:30PM.

Eskimo BBQ

Join us at 10:30 Saturday night in the CJL courtyard for one of the CJL’s world famous Eskimo BBQs where you have to try to finish your burger or hotdog before getting frostbite. All are welcome.

Beer Tasting

The biweekly CJL beer tasting class will continue this Wednesday at 8PM in the CJL Library. Please note that it is illegal to drink alcohol if you are under 21.

Matanot L’Evyonim

In order to facilitate the fulfillment of the mitzvah of matanot l’evyonim, the CJL Shul will collect money and send it to Od Yosef Chai, an organization that distrubutes tzedakah to poor people in Israel.  In order to ensure that we actually fulfill the mitzvah of matanot l’evyonim on Purim itself, please give your donation (cash or check to Od Yosef Chai) to Jacob Meisler no later than Friday, February 27th.

Shiurim

“The Israeli Elections: What Exactly Went On Over There” - Chana Leib, Shabbat 11:45 AM (CJL Piano Room)
“What the hell?” - Rabbi Leib - Shabbat 4:00 PM (CJL Piano Room)

We will be continuing our 2 week mini-series on various hot topics related to Judaism. The second mini-series will be held on February 10th and 17th, and is hosted by Amy Pearlman. The topic will be “Hell from a Different Perspective.”  Questions or suggestions?  Please call Chana at 847-347-7082.
“Hell from a Different Perspective”: Tuesday, February 10th and 17th, 8:30 pm, 202 College Ave Apt. 3 (3rd floor)

Story Time with the Leibs - Pizza and learning every other Sunday night (next one 2/22) at 8:30 pm at the Leibs home, 210 Lake St. Apt. 2B
Rabbi Leib’s weekly Talmud shiur -  every Monday 10pm at the CJL
Mishmar (Hang with the Rabbi) - every Thursday 10pm- North Campus, Jewish cuisine provided
Torah on Tap - Free beer and learning - every Thursday 6PM in The Chapter House

Shul Times

Friday, February 13:
Candle Lighting - 5:17 PM
Kabbalat Shabbat

Orthodox - 5:17 PM (ATH Edwards Room)
Conservative - 5:15 PM (ATH Chapel)
Reform - 5:15 PM (ATH Founders Room)

Dinner (check-in) - 6:15 PM (104 West!)

Saturday, February 14:
Shacharit - 9:15 AM (ATH Edwards Room)
Zman Kriat Shema - 9:42 AM
Shiur - Chana Leib: “The Israeli Elections: What Exactly Went On Over There” - 11:45 AM (CJL Piano Room)
Lunch - 12:30 PM (104 West!)
Shiur - Rabbi Leib: “What the hell?” - 4:00 PM (CJL Piano Room)
Mincha - 5:05 PM (CJL Shul)
Maariv - 6:13 PM (CJL Shul)
Shabbat Ends - 6:22 PM

Mincha/Maariv Next Week - 5:25 PM

Israel Advocacy on Campus

To The Cornell Jewish and Pro-Israel communities,

As most of you are surely aware, over the past couple weeks, the situation in Gaza has turned into a hot-button topic on campus. Numerous columns and letters to the editor have appeared in the Sun and, just this week, the Islamic Alliance for Justice constructed an exhibit on the Arts Quad of 1,300 black flags in memory of the Palestinian and Israeli deaths in Gaza. This display was accompanied by signs that placed most of the blame and wrong on Israel.

We believe that this demonstration is inappropriate for multiple reasons. The signs contain misleading statements that are easily taken out of context, and in some cases, are simply untrue. This type of irresponsible discourse is not productive, and so CIPAC and Hillel are currently working on a deliberate, appropriate, inclusive, and respectful – but, at the same time, strong and highly visible – response.

We write to you in the hopes that you will share your opinions and thoughts with us in the coming days as we put together a response. We want to be as inclusive as possible and want all those who support Israel and desire peace in the region to feel as if they are being represented. We want to rise above the polarization inherent in the recent Arts Quad display by showing that all Israel has ever wanted is to live in peace with her neighbors.

We know that emotions in the pro-Israel community are running high, but, even with that being the case, we strongly condemn all those who have engaged in damaging the IAJ exhibit. We all have a right to freedom of expression that should not be taken lightly, and it is inappropriate and wrong to destroy the exhibit. Also, besides being wrong, the destruction does nothing but give Israel supporters everywhere a bad name. Instead, we hope that you will channel your feelings into productive action by sharing your thoughts with us and by participating in the impending response.

We know that the response of the Jewish and pro-Israel communities is certainly time-sensitive, but we will not act overly quickly or rashly to the detriment of a meaningful, well-conceived response. Knowing the strength of the Jewish and pro-Israel communities at Cornell, with all of your support, our united response will be overwhelming.

We would like every concerned member of the community to email us (as many already have) with anything from thoughts, to specific ideas or courses of action, to simply an email notifying us that you would like to help in any way you can. We promise that every email and idea will be carefully read and considered as the response is formulated and every one of you who wishes to be, will be aware of the response in the coming days so that you can help in any way you choose.

Please don’t hesitate to get in touch with us — we are here to represent you and make sure your voices are heard. Our emails are saa38@cornell.edu and jls294@cornell.edu.

Thank you for your time in handling this very delicate and important issue.

Sincerely,

Jacob Shapiro – President, Hillel

Shai Akabas – President, CIPAC