Center for Jewish Living

The world stinks.  We all know that.  The Taliban becomes more powerful day by day not only in Afghanistan but also in Pakistan.  The economy is still in toilet.  It is still considered unacceptable to pick (and of course consume) your boogers on a first date.  And, crime is on the rise at the Center for Jewish Living.  I don’t want everybody to begin worrying, but just 2 days ago Aaron Sarna was shot and nearly killed.  By a gun (albeit, it was Benji with a nerf gun…but still)
How can we keep the CJL safe?  One house manager called for mandatory strip search for every person that entered the CJL.  The CJL monkey of course, agreed.  However I believe there is a better solution.
To quote a recent Reuters headline: “Bra deflects bullet aimed at woman.”  That’s right.  I advocate for mandatory bras, for men, women, and Doron Bloomfield.  These bras would be made out of pure titanium alloy and will be complementary with CJL membership…so sign up to be a member today!

This weeks shout-out goes to JaSamuel Weiss for finally getting a job at Microsoft.  In other news, Microsoft posted losses for the first time ever.  Correlation or causation?  It’s up to you to decide.

CJL Banquet

Join us at the annual CJL Banquet as we celebrate the end of another school year, inaugurate the new CJL board, say goodbye to those who will be graduating, and honor those who have contributed greatly to this community during their time here. The banquet will take place at 6PM on Sunday May 3rd in 104 West!. All are welcome. The banquet is free for members and $35 for non-members (A mealswipe offsets $8 of that and BRBs are accepted. Members who are on a mealplan are also expected to use a mealswipe and it would be appreciated if they donated BRBs in addition).

CJL History Lesson

Many of the CJL’s esteemed alumni will be visiting us this Shabbat and after Shabbat lunch at around 2:15 some of them will be giving a talk on the history of the CJL and Jewish life at Cornell in the CJL Piano Room (or more likely outside somewhere, since the weather is supposed to be very nice). All are welcome.

Yom Haatzmaut

Come celebrate the 61st anniversary of the State of Israel over dinner at 104 West! Tuesday night 5-7PM

Ice Cream Craziness Kiddush

This week’s Kedma Kiddush is ICE CREAM CRAZINESS in Honor of Tzippy Podolski, Doron Bloomfield, and the Vanguard Materials ETF…thats right Tzippy Podolski, Doron Bloomfield and the Vanguard Materials Exchange Traded Fund. Once every semester, to boost Shacharis attendance KEDMA sponsors ICE CREAM CRAZY Kiddush - historically on the hottest shabboses of the year…because that how we roll… So hotties from all minyans, come by ATH Moosewood Lounge after davening to cool down

Hillel Yom Hazikaron Name Reading

Hillel will be running a 24-hour name reading starting at 10AM on Tuesday the 28th and ending at 10AM on Wednesday the 29th on Ho Plaza. If you would like to be a name reader, sign up at http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=cHpGRVhtVDVsWjM2YUpXbTUwZzZ2V1E6MA

Shabbat Times

Friday, April 24:
Kabbalat Shabbat -

Latest Candle Lighting - 7:40 PM
Dinner (check-in) - 7:00 PM (104 West!)

Saturday, April 25:
Shacharit - 9:15 AM (ATH Edwards Room)
Zman Kriat Shema - 9:36 AM
Shiur - 11:35 AM (CJL Piano Room)
Lunch - 12:30 (104 West!)
CJL History Lesson - 2:15 PM (CJL Piano Room)
Shiur - 6:30 PM (CJL Piano Room)
Mincha - 7:25 PM (CJL Shul)
Maariv - 8:38 PM (CJL Shul)
Shabbat Ends - 8:45 PM

Mincha/Maariv Next Week - 6:20 PM (CJL Shul)